5/13/10

A love is a bond,
an unconditional promise.
A bless that's bestowed upon us,
leaving our hearts to belong to one another.
A promise that's forever.
that's not a figment of our imagiantions.
That two hearts can grow, live, and prosper,
together,
intertwined by the obstacles that life may provide us with.

Love can be awarded upon us,
when we find the one we want to share our lives with.
The one whom we will share our years, and learn life's worth.
When you say, i love you, it's not a saying, a habit, or words scrambled in a sentence.
It's a promise, a way of life and the thought that occupy's my brain.

I'll tell you a story of a love that grew,
forever it stayed,
and forever it remains true.

Transform [[poem]] 5/11/10

Transformations under the sun,
leaving hopefulness lingering in the heart thats been savoring,
the love thats been crippled by the pain thats injected.
Your voice trickles my skin,
cleansing the sins that's been captured within.
I take a deep breath as I dive in,
to a hell I achieved by the nights of the grief.
The flowers are drifiting,
along the shallow bay,
leaving souls to wander and fade to a dull grey.
Is this correct?
To let them go without a word on the brain,
without a memory scarring their everyday ways?
A past is a memory, a life that's well known.
A life that you may contemplate but that you need to let go.
Start, refresh, rejuvinate.
This life is anew with every breath you take.
Smile my young angel, the voice of light,
shining beams throughout the hardships in life.
Open the door and let the air come through,
let yourself change, feel the power within
and let yourself,
transform.

for you baby 5/5/10

I wish I could express this feeling that's overcome me. I wish I could describe the exhilaration thats nested inside of me right now, radiating from my heart and my mind creating a whole new outlook on my life

A smile is a movement in our faces changing our expression. Some smiles are forced, some are because of a joke and some are brought upon us, well, because we just can't control ourselves. That's how I am.

I've wanted this for so long, my mind and body have been craving, longing for somebody to love and to care for. For someone to know that I will always, no matter what, be there for them and love them through any obstacles we may face in our lives. For him.

People constantly tell me that my juvinile state of being makes me translate lust as the idea of love. I prove them to be wrong by the feelings that I have for him. I know what love is, and I know what it is not. I know that i'm in love and i've been in love in the shadows as well.

I wish he could see just how much I cared and truly, loved him. I've been in a long-term relationship before. I know what it's like to be in love. He can't compare to anyone who i've ever dated, ever liked, or anyone who I have ever encoutnered in my life. People say when tehy meet the right person for them, that they just feel it. They feel right and they feel that life is complete and you can live your life knowing that happiness will reign above all. This is how I feel. I wish words could express my feelings that have been bottled up for so long, but nothing can describe this love, besides love, itself.

words can't describe this.... 5/2/10

Have you ever been alive? Truly, alive. Not just, not dead, but actually living. When you enjoy life and you just feel like things are right and you just feel, well, alive.

I've been walking through my life dead. I have problems i've ignored and let go, I have a long relationship with abuse that's scarred on my body, i've been in relationships that have killed me, over and over and over again.

I cried myself to sleep every night for an entire year. I used to cut 3 times a week. Up until, now, I've been dead. I guess this is just let everything out that's happened to me for the past year, because well, now, i truly, feel, revived and alive.

so, this may be stupid but this is mostly just for my own well being. I need to let out what's happened and just leave it behind, let it go.

ALl the nights I cried myself to sleep.
The way I cut my arms, hips, thighs, ankles, and slit my wrists.
The way i took those 2 bottles of prescription pills.
The way I almost jumped off a building.
The way I woke up screaming for 5 months, every single night.
The way I lost everything that I had.
The way that my mom punched me in the face, kicked me when i was down, burned me with my lighter, pulled out my hair until I was bleeding, or just told me it was her biggest mistake that she adopted me.
The way I slowly turned to alcohol to make things better, making myself drunk way too often.
The way I put such a fake smile on and pretended things were okay.
The way I could't have one dream without him in it.
The way that he found me on the corner of a street, drunk, and bleeding.
The way I broke the windows in my room when he left me, leaving me to cut myself with shards of glass.
The way I made myself bulemic so that maybe I could be prettier.
The way that I threw up everyday from being so depressed.
The way I couldn't stop shaking for hours.
The way I stayed up and hoped you would wake up and talk to me.
The way I took out every mirror in my room for months because I couldn't stand to look at myself.
The way I went a week without eating.
The way I was dead.