It seems as if my depression and bipolar are beginning to take over me. I feel like i'm in this world for no purpose and i'm beginning to think everyone around me doesn't really care if i'll stay or not.
I got help in Feb. 2011 for my self harm addiction and I was finding myself to become better and really stop my self harm. The last time that I purposeley hurt myself was in mid- march. That's about 2 months of no self harm. That's the longest i've gone since 8th grade.
Today, I found myself in a spiral of depression, watching it get worse and worse until an event triggered everything. I went back to my old habits and it killed me that I would do this to myself again. I knew I was gaining strength back but I guess i'm just never going to be strong enough...
Thursday, May 19, 2011
5/19/2011
Posted by Kat <3 at 1:35 PM
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3 comments:
There are people willing to listen to. Hurting yourself wont help. You'll just end up pushing away everybody that cares for you. Be strong.
Get some help hun :) I've never been into self-harm but I know it's an addiction like anything else. I know what it's like to feel depressed. Get some help, talk to friends, watch 'The Secret' (seems stupid but helps me sometimes)... and learn to manage emotions. Because contrary to popular belief, emotions are our tools and we can feel anyway we want to...
When I was in 8th grade, many of my friends would harm themselves. It was the one thing that they could control in their life. Parents getting divorced, the way teens talked about them behind their back, the way life seemed to crumble when they were attempting to do everything "right." Come to find out...in this world... there is a thin line of boundary between what is wrong and what is right. Those who do right sometimes seek to get rewarded for their good deed, which then turns into something that is wrong. I watched my friends cut, harm themselves, depressed as ever, and they didn't know what to do. I will tell you what I told them... you may think no one cares about you; you may think that the way life is is how it is always going to be, but you have to see that who you are RIGHT NOW is not the person you are going to be 10 years from now. Just by reading your post, and seeing that you are still here (and are not taking the easy way out) just shows how strong you actually are. Odds are, someone in this world looks up to you-if not, then be that person that someone will look up to.
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